I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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