This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
