why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
