We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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