If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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