you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
