We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
