i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
