Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
