so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize