The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize