i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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