I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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