masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
