I can tuck mytits in my pants
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
