My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am available for nakedness
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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