Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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