Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
