There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
