So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
did i walk over a car last night?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
