he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My penis needs a shock collar
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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