I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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