I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
