11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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