Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
