Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
