everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
