the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
