im holly from the hills drunk
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
