Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
