BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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