where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
