I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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