I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
