Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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