i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
