that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
