Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
