Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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