Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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