I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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