nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
