You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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