he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
