hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
