It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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