But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
