I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
