Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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