Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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