i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
