1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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