a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
