We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
