Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
