After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
