Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
