He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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