I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
